my father and The Jiggler


     So I was watching an episode of Adventure Time called “The Jiggler” (spoiler alert!) where Jake and Finn unwittingly lure a baby creature away from its mother and take it home with them.  The baby soon gets sick and basically starts puking blood.  Instead of getting help for the poor thing they ultimately decide that all they need to do is plug the hole it’s puking from but the creature has multiple holes on its body it can puke from so they resort to using their collections of glass eyes and eye patches to plug all the holes in an attempt to stop the puking.  This was very troubling to me since my abusive fuckhead father had worn a glass eye when he was younger and by the time I knew him always wore an eye patch.  So here Jake and Finn have sacrificed their precious collections in a effort to “save” this baby.  Moments before the young creature explodes from their gross mistreatment of it, they show a shot of it as a quivering mass with glass eyes shoved into its holes and eye patches strapped around its body, sitting in a puddle of its own puke-blood while still slowly leaking more puke-blood from its many plugged holes. Needless to say, I was more than a little disturbed at this point.  When the creature explodes it doesn’t die.  Instead, puke-blood goes everywhere and it gets all stretched out like a big rubbery noodle.  So now our intelligent heroes panic and decide to gather up the sick, exploded, noodle baby into a pile and just smash it all back together as if it were just a bunch of modeling clay.  Maybe I was taking things a little too seriously but by this point I was a little horrified and experienced a legitimate stress response in my gut.  Miraculously, smashing the baby back together using brute force doesn’t kill it and after all the kidnapping, abuse and attempted murder they eventually return the baby to its mother.

     Now, while I’m a both a fan and creator of disturbing imagery and have great respect and admiration for anyone who can effectively illustrate the weird and stupid things that can happen in a surrealistic dream-like state (pretty much the core of what Adventure Time is about), this particular episode really hit just a tad too close to home for me.  Anyway, long story short:  I watched “The Jiggler” and afterwards I drew the image you see above.

fuzzy head discovery

     Just wanted to do a quick post to report a bit of a discovery.  Remember my cave skellie idea?  Well, I think I found his head (or as close to it as I’ve gotten so far).  I may have to do some developmental studies of this face and head until I get it fine tuned but I think the basic shape, expression and fuzziness are just about right.

     Oi, gotta get to bed.  Thanks for taking a look : )

white eyes

     I went digging in my closet and found an old dry erase board we used to keep on the fridge.  It’s all beat up and nasty but that adds character.  Another advantage is that it’s small enough to be scanned and that’s always a handy thing.

     Anyway, here’s my latest Fuzzy Skeletonian.  He’s kind of growing on me.  Gonna have trouble erasing this guy when the time comes.

crawling skitter nom


     Here’s my latest dry erase effort.  He seems to be crawling across the floor like a cheap special effect.  He’s all like, “skitter skitter skitter nom nom nom” until the the batteries in the remote control car underneath him run out of juice.

     Meh, kinda in a low key mood tonight.  Looking forward to having the next two weekends off.  A little rest and normality is a good thing.  Take it easy peeps, you guys rule.

march nightmare

     Well, I tried to save the best for last.  This post at least has the highest number of artworks I’ve ever included in one post before.  Anyway, here goes:

     Back in March the wife and I had a very good Saturday.  We slept late, went out to eat, futzed around town, running a couple of errands, generally having a good time.  It all culminated that evening with us having a blast at dinner (appetizer dinner, one of our favorites!), consuming more than the usual amount of wine and watching one of our favorite movies, Evil Dead II.  We enjoyed it almost as much as the first time we saw it.  However, I often found myself (as I realized later) taking it a little too seriously at times, saying things like, “You know, someone actually going through something this extremely supernatural and horrific might APPEAR to be acting in an absurd or comical way.  From my experience, the OUTWARD appearance of your actions is often out of step with what you’re actually feeling INSIDE.”  In my mind I thought I was just having fun with my conjecture and my ‘What if this was REALLY HAPPENING!?’ thought exercise.  What I didn’t know at the time is that I was planting the seeds of fear in my own impressionable, wine-marinated brain.  Not surprisingly, that night I had a nightmare.

     It opens in some strange house I’ve never been in before (as a lot of my unpleasant dreams do).  There’s a zombie somewhere and it’s all the fault of this douchebag son of some rich guy (apparently this is their house).  Not sure why I know all of this, it’s just the given facts of the dream.

      Anyway, next thing I know I’ve opened a closet door somewhere in the house and find myself standing face to face with the aforementioned zombie.  He’s not all, “Bleearrgh! Graaaarr! Brains!” or extremely gross looking or anything.  He’s a middle-aged, balding man in a suit.  He has a blank stare and is filthy (as zombies are wont to be) but the expressionless face looking back at me from the shadows of the freshly opened closet is particularly unsettling.

       Jump cut to a side view of the the closet.  From the top shelf of the closet, the zombie suddenly shoots out head first, arms at his sides, entire body parallel to the floor and stops at the waist.  The room is lit with a sickly, bright (yet also dark) orange and the top half of the zombie is sticking out of the closet, stiff as a board like the top drawer of a dresser.  Suddenly, his arms shoot out, doubling his visible length.

     Next thing I see (not that I actually recall seeing it, it’s more like my mind TOLD ME I was seeing it) is the zombie and the douchebag son wrestling on the floor in front of the closet.  The room is still lit in that sickly orange as they struggle, the zombie now in full, aggressive “Romero” mode.

     The scene changes again and I’m pretty sure I have the son safely behind me and the zombie is prone on the floor in front of me.  I’m jabbing at him with a transfer shovel trying to decapitate him.  We now seem to be in the living room.  Beyond the zombie I can see furniture, potted plants, windows and glass doors that lead outside to a back yard or patio.  It’s night time and the room is now a dark, moonlit environment and I can see streaks of blood running down the zombie’s face.  I jab again with the shovel, a little off target, and hit him in the face.  I don’t see it but I clearly feel a splash of warm liquid hit my left cheek and eye.

     Everything becomes a little unclear at this point, although in the next moment I somehow know that I’ve killed the zombie.  Then I look up at the ceiling and I see the shadow of a thin, unclothed, headless figure.  It’s arms are flailing wildly and shooting from it’s neck are what seems to be both short lengths of hair and what looks like small moths but they have no bodies, just a pair of fluttering wings, much like heart-shaped pieces of paper folded down the middle…

 …I’m terrified and I realize the ghost of the zombie is casting this shadow!  I panic and swing the shovel wildly at where I think the ghost is.  The force of the swing in my arm and shoulder as I hit nothing is the last thing I feel.


     I woke up, hungover and so dry my eyelids were almost making scratching noises every time I blinked.  I was still pretty creeped out and, even though I keep a pretty much nocturnal schedule and there was plenty of daylight in the house, I was still seriously keeping a wary eye on the hallway for any shambling zombies that might be coming my way.  After some liquids, pain killers and a light snack I was finally able to get back to sleep.

Lastly, here’s another incarnation of the nightmare zombie:

     Well, I hope you enjoyed this.  I have to say this was the most vivid nightmare I’ve had in years.  My only regret is that I wish I could’ve done more artistic justice to it.  That’s not to say I didn’t produce a few decent images but I never really felt I completely captured the true vividness of the experience.  Oh well, I guess room for improvement is a good thing.

     Whew!  Has this been a crazy month or what?  I’m glad I took all the time off from work.  Three-day weekends all month has been SA-WEEET!  It’s gotten me rested up and ye olde creative juices flowing as well!  I look forward to the holidays and you should too, as I have a stockpile of new artworks just itching to be posted : D  Thanks for stopping by, you crazy kids are the best!

smudges and greed

     Here’s more of my dry erase fuckery.  This was drawn before wavy brain, before I cleaned the board.  You can see the all the smidgy smudges of my fingers.  I also accidentally bumped the board with my cock thumb and smudged the hair a bit when I was positioning this to be photographed.  And I didn’t even bother fixing the smudge.

     Yeah, that about sums up my attitude of late.  I’m just like, “Fuck it, whatever…  I’m tired.”  The heat, the overtime.  I feel like introducing myself to people:  “Hello, I’m Jack and I’m a dull boy.”  At the same time, I also feel like I’m just being precious.  Just upset that I don’t have more free time.   I feel greedy.  I mean, I have time to do my crazy little artworks and blog about them on a regular basis so why am I upset that I don’t have EVEN MORE TIME?  Greed.  Self-indulgent greed.

wavy brain and a depressing revelation

     Here’s my latest dry erase crap.  I refer to this with disdain and hostility because I completed this drawing and then hung the dry erase board back on the wall were I keep it.  The overtly cheery and uplifting feel of this drawing started to get to me.  Usually, I draw something in my sketchbook and don’t have to look at it right away.  When I come back to it later something has changed and I see it differently and it’s more palatable.  With Mr. Wavy Brain here I was forced to process it immediately.  That, combined with having a pretty crappy week, made for a crushing blow to my psyche yesterday.  Once photographed, I didn’t feel much remorse after I erased it.

     As for the style and content, this is classic nose bleed, a definite “back to basics” of this new style, as it is similar to the very first drawing from this style/series.  I had just cleaned my dry erase board and it was all white and shiny and I could see a blurry reflection of myself in it as I started on this.  I even had the conscious thought that this would be a self-portrait.  Once finished, I realized what a state I was in and, as days passed, it became a more and more vivid revelation.  In some ways it surprised me.  I mean, I’ve had a noticeable amount of depression in me since I was a child.  I’ve dealt with feelings of depression all my adult life so why did this particular image bother me so much?  I guess it was the immediacy of it all.  But you know, I’ve heard it said that if everything is under control you’re not going fast enough.  As I get older I start to appreciate that opinion more and more.

     Finally, to lighten my mood (and hopefully yours), I made another of my goofy animated .gifs.  While processing this in Irfanview, I hit the horizontal flip and noticed what you see to the left.  When flipped left and right, he seems to do a kind of bizarre, fuzzy fan dance of sorts!  Suddenly, this vision of exhaustion and depression turns into more of a scene of drunken, pathetic, playfulness.  Admittedly, not MUCH of an improvement but an improvement nonetheless.

     Wow, you bothered to read this far?  Good for you and thanks for taking an interest!


     Can Uwe Boll direct his way out of a wet paper sack?  Do the mentally impaired make good zombies?  Can Lou Ferrigno throw a bear into orbit?  The answers to these questions and more will all be revealed during the Netflix Instant Bad Movie Twitterthon!  I’ve officially got the weekend free and I will be geeking it up this Saturday night with my bestest net buddies as we all try to endure a marathon of some hand-picked, rust-proof, quality-free movies!  And the best part is:  YOU’RE INVITED!!

     So cancel that hot date, skip out on that sex and drugs party, sell those tickets to the theater.  Instead grab yourself some booze, energy drinks, lots o’ pizza and log on to The Internet and embrace the goodness of bad movies.  You know you want to!

arrogance and the impermanence of art


(clicka for da full sizey)

     Here’s my latest and in dry erase marker, no less!  I know, right!?  Fun fun stuff.  If what you end up drawing sucks just erase it!  It’s like it never even happened.

     Seriously, though, this is a pretty neat way to experiment with ideas and shit and not waste a ton of paper and if what you end up with is save-worthy just photograph the fuck out of it before you erase it.  This also agrees with my arrogant artistic sensibilities in a lot of ways:  “I created it, I will destroy it!  It’s mine!”

      Well, thanks for stopping by and may your problems be as easy to solve as this drawing was to erase.