wavy brain and a depressing revelation

     Here’s my latest dry erase crap.  I refer to this with disdain and hostility because I completed this drawing and then hung the dry erase board back on the wall were I keep it.  The overtly cheery and uplifting feel of this drawing started to get to me.  Usually, I draw something in my sketchbook and don’t have to look at it right away.  When I come back to it later something has changed and I see it differently and it’s more palatable.  With Mr. Wavy Brain here I was forced to process it immediately.  That, combined with having a pretty crappy week, made for a crushing blow to my psyche yesterday.  Once photographed, I didn’t feel much remorse after I erased it.

     As for the style and content, this is classic nose bleed, a definite “back to basics” of this new style, as it is similar to the very first drawing from this style/series.  I had just cleaned my dry erase board and it was all white and shiny and I could see a blurry reflection of myself in it as I started on this.  I even had the conscious thought that this would be a self-portrait.  Once finished, I realized what a state I was in and, as days passed, it became a more and more vivid revelation.  In some ways it surprised me.  I mean, I’ve had a noticeable amount of depression in me since I was a child.  I’ve dealt with feelings of depression all my adult life so why did this particular image bother me so much?  I guess it was the immediacy of it all.  But you know, I’ve heard it said that if everything is under control you’re not going fast enough.  As I get older I start to appreciate that opinion more and more.

     Finally, to lighten my mood (and hopefully yours), I made another of my goofy animated .gifs.  While processing this in Irfanview, I hit the horizontal flip and noticed what you see to the left.  When flipped left and right, he seems to do a kind of bizarre, fuzzy fan dance of sorts!  Suddenly, this vision of exhaustion and depression turns into more of a scene of drunken, pathetic, playfulness.  Admittedly, not MUCH of an improvement but an improvement nonetheless.

     Wow, you bothered to read this far?  Good for you and thanks for taking an interest!

7 thoughts on “wavy brain and a depressing revelation

  1. That .gif rules. I can totally hear the music man! Before I saw that I was about to say something along the lines of: Wow. This heat has really gotten to you hasn't it? It just looks like he's oozing out of every orifice.

    But I like that you made the comment that this is a back to basics. I can totally see that.

  2. Oh good lord, you're right. It IS the heat. I even have him doing a FAN dance to cool himself off! Man, these summer crazies are gonna get the better of me if I'm not careful :P

  3. Well, you can acknowledge and be aware of something, but to give it a face and have it literally staring straight back at you is a whole other ball of wax. Hence, maybe why it bothered you. I had a similar experience once as my mom was dying. I was looking at some photos a friend at work had just taken, and although I was well aware I was depressed/stressed/anxious, seeing myself in those photos was startling. Too look at my own eyes in those pics…well…there was no denying how bad I felt or the toll it was all taking on me, and that was scary as fuck.

    I always love your stuff and this is no exception. There is a lot to see and interpret here. It evokes how you are feeling. And I ditto Mr. G: The .gif rules.

  4. Thanks for sharing, Katn. Admittedly, I don't have many photos of myself as an adult but even when I took that pic of myself planking it still made me realize how powerful the perspective of seeing an image of yourself from outside yourself can be. I can't imagine how I would've reacted if I'd seen photos of myself in a situation similar to your experience.

  5. There has been an aspect to your work that has been haunting me with its familiarity and I haven't been able to put my finger on it. Until now. Salvador Dali. Your work reminds me of Dali. This piece really nailed it for me. Good stuff!

    I must say that the animaed GIF is quite fabu. :-) Every time it flips I hear a little slapping noise as the fuzzy appendages smack the face. Fwap. Fwap. Fwap. Fwap. and maybe some Benny hill music in the background.

    Sorry to hear things are crappy man. HUGGS. I'm riding that crazy tain with you. At least pathos makes for good art. :-)

  6. Thanks. Salvador Dali and Benny Hill are definitely among my favorite cultural icons and (now that I think about it) not too distant from each other artistically.

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