The fever of Summer is breaking and so is my resistance to the abuse I suffered at the hands of my half-sister, mother and father. I’m succumbing to it all but fear not, for I am seeking help. I have made an appointment with my doctor and I plan to ask for advice, medication and a referral to a good counselor. It’s the waiting that’s killing me right now. The disease howls and I am coming perilously close to doing irrevocable damage to my marriage. I just hope the help doesn’t come too late and I hope my wife can, in time, forgive me somehow. I really should’ve headed down this current path a good year or more earlier.
The good news is October is so very close now and I burned a bunch of vacation to ensure that I have every single damned weekend off! I need my rest, especially right now. As for OPG 2014, I plan on mostly posting on the weekends with sporadic postings during the week if I have time. I’m not going to push myself. I can get myself into serious trouble by thinking that I’m stronger than I am. Nonetheless, staying at least a little busy with the OPG will be good, I can use the distraction while I bide my time.
That’s it for now. If things come together I’ll post the first of the month, definitely by the weekend of all else fails. See you then oxoxoxo
Okay, I’ve been trying not to make a big deal out of this but I finally got to the point where I had to come right out and say something. I’ve been adding my work to my Redbubble account and they sell stickers with your artwork printed on them if you want them to and OH MY FUCKING GOD THIS GUY IS SO DING-DANG CUTE AS A STICKER!!! You may remember him from this post where I was trying to pass him off as an ominous symbol of fear but, no, he’s not scary, he’s a cutie pie! Just click on the image to check him out on the Redbubble. Also, check out my Store page for more of my works if you’re curious.
So I was watching an episode of Adventure Time called “The Jiggler” (spoiler alert!) where Jake and Finn unwittingly lure a baby creature away from its mother and take it home with them. The baby soon gets sick and basically starts puking blood. Instead of getting help for the poor thing they ultimately decide that all they need to do is plug the hole it’s puking from but the creature has multiple holes on its body it can puke from so they resort to using their collections of glass eyes and eye patches to plug all the holes in an attempt to stop the puking. This was very troubling to me since my abusive fuckhead father had worn a glass eye when he was younger and by the time I knew him always wore an eye patch. So here Jake and Finn have sacrificed their precious collections in a effort to “save” this baby. Moments before the young creature explodes from their gross mistreatment of it, they show a shot of it as a quivering mass with glass eyes shoved into its holes and eye patches strapped around its body, sitting in a puddle of its own puke-blood while still slowly leaking more puke-blood from its many plugged holes. Needless to say, I was more than a little disturbed at this point. When the creature explodes it doesn’t die. Instead, puke-blood goes everywhere and it gets all stretched out like a big rubbery noodle. So now our intelligent heroes panic and decide to gather up the sick, exploded, noodle baby into a pile and just smash it all back together as if it were just a bunch of modeling clay. Maybe I was taking things a little too seriously but by this point I was a little horrified and experienced a legitimate stress response in my gut. Miraculously, smashing the baby back together using brute force doesn’t kill it and after all the kidnapping, abuse and attempted murder they eventually return the baby to its mother.
Now, while I’m a both a fan and creator of disturbing imagery and have great respect and admiration for anyone who can effectively illustrate the weird and stupid things that can happen in a surrealistic dream-like state (pretty much the core of what Adventure Time is about), this particular episode really hit just a tad too close to home for me. Anyway, long story short: I watched “The Jiggler” and afterwards I drew the image you see above.
Rediscovered this guy tonight. Like the look in his eyes. This is one of a series of Sharpie drawings I’m doing on what turned out to be some pretty crappy watercolor paper. Well, I suppose it’s really more a matter of taste. If you happen to ENJOY painting on a material that is basically thick paper towel then I guess it would be the PERFECT watercolor paper for you. For me, I’ll be sticking with the Strathmore from now on.
In other news, I have officially licensed some artwork to Perception of Pain. Speaking of which, they will be playing a gig this Tuesday, February 4th in Calgary. If you’re in the area definitely stop on by and give a listen!!
I sat here and tried to get in the mood to say something about this guy but this guy is just me. A fussy, detailed, neurotic creation that is afraid of taking a chance. Afraid of chasing a dream that requires a wholehearted effort if it is to have any hope of a mature completion. Assuming completion is even something that is possible with this sort of thing. Perhaps a mature pursuit is more appropriate. Maybe I just need more time.
As for technique and execution, I got back into my fussy details and my beloved fuzzy feathers again. Great stuff for burning off excess nervous energy : ) Thanks for taking a look.
This is harsh. Staring at myself through these cumples all month. I’m a scared, worried, anxious kinda guy it seems. I guess if I wasn’t there would be something more than a little off about me. Would probably have an inventory of body parts in my freezer or something.
These two make me uncomfortable. I guess no one likes looking at their own fear and otherwise neurotic states. But, hey, this is good news for you wacky kids! The Fraidy Twins here are a package deal, two for one, BOGO, 50% off, everything must go-type of deal. If you’re amazing enough to donate AND get the chance to pick these guys (remember: first come, first serve) then you’ll get a PAIR of original artworks! So, help me enhance my comfort level and get these guys out of my house, will you?
I was too uncomfortable to look at this guy for too long while I was processing him. Although, one thing I had no trouble looking at was his mouth. It’s not really frowning in sadness to match his damned eyes. It’s his TEETH that are frowning. Looks a bit unnatural.
What keeps escaping from my head? This is a feature that’s occurred timeandtimeagain in my artwork. Perhaps it is a necessary release of pressure, energy or demons if you will. Gotta let it out or it’ll wreck my insides I guess.
I won’t tell you where I’ve been artistically but the above image is fairly close to the mark. I will tell you that I’ve officially dropped my Vincent personae. It just wasn’t feeling right, it’s not who I am anymore. My name is Eddie Jones and I will be you host, guide and victim as we slog our way, step by heavy step, towards the mountain of fear that is The Fuzzy Skeletonian.
In other news, October is creeping up behind me with impure thoughts. So grab your vasoline and get ready for Octoberween-Palooza-Ganza 2013! Stop on by this coming month, enjoy your beverage (or beverages) of choice and don’t dress up in any of your good clothes cause it’s gonna get all nasty and crumply. Details to follow over the weekend.
I’ve been pretty lax on the blogging front lately. For those of you who may have missed me, I apologize. I’ve been processing a lot. Coming to terms with myself and who I really am, who I’ve always been really. The problem is, I fight everything. I’m a very high-maintenance person and I am very resistant to incorporating new things into my life because there’s already too much stuff swirling around in my head at any given moment. Most of the time I just long for a reset back to simplicity. The big ol’ eraser across the messy, messy chalkboard that is my brain. But that ain’t gonna happen. I’m an awkward patchwork resulting from an imperfect, dirty little life and I just need to make due with what I have and accept what I cannot change. One of those things that I cannot change is the fact that I’m an artist.
Not just that I have artistic ability and an aesthetic eye but an actual imperative to be an artist. This is something that I’ve been foolishly fighting against lately and I’ve been losing. I guess that’s one of the ways you can be sure about something. It certainly has given me some clarity and confidence in what I need to do with my spare time. I need to try to be the best artist I can be, to use the time and resources I have available to learn and improve, and to hang on to my dream wherever it may lead. I may wax and wane in my pursuit but I will never give it up. I can’t give it up. This is what I must do.
Anyway, enough of all of this heartfelt declaration of purpose. On to the art! What you see above is the self-portrait I threatened to do using the technique I learned with accidental Stripe. Since I ended up with four different versions even before I scanned anything I decided to get my Warhol on and block them all together with different color schemes. I think I captured the sadness, frustration and anger I’ve been going through lately.
That’s it for now. I hope to get my butt a little more in gear in coming months and share whatever I can whenever I can. Thanks for stopping by.
(If you’ve already read the first version of this post and found it to be a bit unclear and/or unfocused I apologize. I was rushing through it right before bed and I was both tired and unorganized in my thoughts. Anyway, here’s the update/edit. I feel it much more effectively puts forth the point I was originally hoping to make)
I got myself busy with my markers over the weekend. One night I completed a few drawings, ate dinner and watched some TV. Later, when I came back to my room I saw the last finished drawing still on my inclined table in the very dim light before I got a chance to turn the lamp back on. It creeped me out… No, it flat out scared me and I stopped drawing for the day. I find the older I get the more easily I forget recent events and the more I remember my past. When the vivid horrors of the present become too much for me I retreat to the comfort of the past. Senior citizens who can’t remember what they did yesterday but can easily remember their first day of grade school in vivid detail aren’t necessarily senile. I think their minds are simply doing what’s necessary in order to survive the harshness of the present.
The above drawing is not the one that scared me over the weekend. My fear forced a retreat into my past and I chose to post an old pencil drawing from 10 years ago. My defenses went up and I no longer had the desire to face my art in its present state. My wife once made the observation that it’s remarkable sometimes to watch as my defenses go up when I feel threatened, insecure or scared. Perhaps that’s why I chose this particular drawing. What you see above could easily be a depiction of that exact phenomenon. Layered defenses of the past shooting up to protect the frightened little me hiding behind them.
And now for some WaCkY Creation Trivia! This was completed immediately prior to defending angel. In the upper-left corner you can see one of the scribble bats bleeding through from the page behind. Here’s a detail with enhanced color to make it easier to see:
Seems fitting that these two drawings are right next to each other. Very similar themes of protection and defense. May your own defenses serve to protect you well from the harshness of the day. Thanks for taking a look.
This started with a basic monochrome print from an image of my own face. I then proceeded with the marker and paints and ended up with something I wasn’t satisfied with at all. I then swallowed a bunch of grey paint, gagged myself and threw up all over it. Well, that’s what I felt like doing anyway. Not sure if the final application of grey slurry enhanced this or just underscored my strong dislike of working from a prefabricated image base.
The background on this one turned out much more pale and bleak than most of my other Red Eye paintings. Bleakness seems to be in the air lately. It’s almost as if everyone unconsciously believes the world will end this year. I hope it does. Humanity could use a big death and rebirth right about now. A casting away of old habits, a blowing off of steam and a time to relax and get reacquainted with our true selves. Just one big time-out to rest and reflect.
Anyway, musings on humanity aside, the more I look at this painting the more I think it’s a self-portrait. I identify and sympathize with this guy’s general state of emotion. I can’t put my finger on it exactly, but I’m right there with him. I’m his comrade and ally.
Here’s my latest dry erase crap. I refer to this with disdain and hostility because I completed this drawing and then hung the dry erase board back on the wall were I keep it. The overtly cheery and uplifting feel of this drawing started to get to me. Usually, I draw something in my sketchbook and don’t have to look at it right away. When I come back to it later something has changed and I see it differently and it’s more palatable. With Mr. Wavy Brain here I was forced to process it immediately. That, combined with having a pretty crappy week, made for a crushing blow to my psyche yesterday. Once photographed, I didn’t feel much remorse after I erased it.
As for the style and content, this is classic nose bleed, a definite “back to basics” of this new style, as it is similar to the very first drawing from this style/series. I had just cleaned my dry erase board and it was all white and shiny and I could see a blurry reflection of myself in it as I started on this. I even had the conscious thought that this would be a self-portrait. Once finished, I realized what a state I was in and, as days passed, it became a more and more vivid revelation. In some ways it surprised me. I mean, I’ve had a noticeable amount of depression in me since I was a child. I’ve dealt with feelings of depression all my adult life so why did this particular image bother me so much? I guess it was the immediacy of it all. But you know, I’ve heard it said that if everything is under control you’re not going fast enough. As I get older I start to appreciate that opinion more and more.
Finally, to lighten my mood (and hopefully yours), I made another of my goofy animated .gifs. While processing this in Irfanview, I hit the horizontal flip and noticed what you see to the left. When flipped left and right, he seems to do a kind of bizarre, fuzzy fan dance of sorts! Suddenly, this vision of exhaustion and depression turns into more of a scene of drunken, pathetic, playfulness. Admittedly, not MUCH of an improvement but an improvement nonetheless.
Wow, you bothered to read this far? Good for you and thanks for taking an interest!