Category Archives: anger

succumbing and OPG 2014

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     The fever of Summer is breaking and so is my resistance to the abuse I suffered at the hands of my half-sister, mother and father.  I’m succumbing to it all but fear not, for I am seeking help.  I have made an appointment with my doctor and I plan to ask for advice, medication and a referral to a good counselor.  It’s the waiting that’s killing me right now.  The disease howls and I am coming perilously close to doing irrevocable damage to my marriage.  I just hope the help doesn’t come too late and I hope my wife can, in time, forgive me somehow.  I really should’ve headed down this current path a good year or more earlier.

     The good news is October is so very close now and I burned a bunch of vacation to ensure that I have every single damned weekend off!  I need my rest, especially right now.  As for OPG 2014, I plan on mostly posting on the weekends with sporadic postings during the week if I have time.  I’m not going to push myself.  I can get myself into serious trouble by thinking that I’m stronger than I am.  Nonetheless, staying at least a little busy with the OPG will be good, I can use the distraction while I bide my time.

     That’s it for now.  If things come together I’ll post the first of the month, definitely by the weekend of all else fails.  See you then oxoxoxo

one-eyed dad bastard

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     This is one of several crumples where I deliberately drew lines to either side of the one eye to emulate my father’s eye patch strap just to see how it felt.  It felt forced but I also think it adds a bit of realism for me.  Helps me keep in mind what I’m trying to confront when a Fuzzy Skeletonian emerges on the page.

weird energy

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     You must be all like, “What the hell, man!?  Changing to this brand new FUCKING AWESOME header AND changing the blog title without an explanation!!??!!”  Well I gotta tell ya, it’s all about this weird energy that’s been driving me lately.

     I mean, did you know there can be a PURPOSE to life?  A reason for trying?  I thought I had it all figured out a few years ago.  Thought life was meaningless, pointless, a random existence bereft of coherence and understanding.  Then I got back into my art.  In the years since then I’ve had fun with my art, gotten inspired by other artists, old and new and come to realize that my art is truly a part of me that I cannot deny.

     This new clarity of purpose and the accompanying motivation has resulted in a positive, negative, swirling, weird energy that’s got me producing art almost everyday (I’m even posting to Twitter and shit).  I’m also out of my mind with fear.  Having dreams and goals for the future is not what I’m used to.  I’ve spent almost all of my adult life in an angry, protective, nihilistic, defeatism and having hope for the future is a very strange and scary thing for me now.  However, amidst the fear and weirdness, things are starting to become clear here and there, like my new header.

     The new header (and blog title) is really more of a head-ING for me to travel towards.  I’ve decided that the concept of the Fuzzy Skeletonian needs to be pursued in earnest, explored fully, with an eye towards bringing it to an eventual mature completion before I die.  I decided Torso Man (a.k.a Fuzzy Skeletonian #1) should lead the way with his fuzzy fuzzy torso of power!  I’ve also been cranking out more and more Fuzzy Skeletonian crumple drawings like the one you see above.  I’ve got a stack nearly a foot tall that grows everyday!

     I hope the future brings good things to my art.  I hope my art brings good things to the future.  And I hope I keep my head and don’t fall to my fears.  Finally, in closing, welcome to The Fuzzy Skeletonian.  I am your host, Vincent.

Clint, Fuzzy Skeletonians and OPG 2012

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     Okay, so I got this idea recently to create Unflattering Fuzzy Skeletonian Portraits for anyone who wants one.  I dove right into it and soon found that I needed to brush up on my portrait skills so I found an image of Clint Eastwood to work from (since the old crazy bastard practically IS a Fuzzy Skeletonian).  I sat down and tried my best to capture his features.  The man has a great angry face and an awesome skull so it was a pleasure to work with.  What you see above is what I feel to be the best of several attempts.

     I have to say this is not going to be as easy as I imagined but you have to start somewhere.  Making someone skeletal and still recognizable is going to be a challenge.  I don’t want to just draw a freakin’ zombie with some flesh stripped away.  Oi, that’s been done TO DEATH.  I want something like bones that look like flesh, flesh that looks like bones…  Gonna have to experiment and mull this over a bit.  I’ll keep you posted as I hopefully make progress on this project.

     Oh yeah, I do plan to have my usual OPG shenanigans and goings on in October but I don’t really have any clear plan of what I’m going to do besides daily postings.  Right now I just plan on wingin’ that mother just like the very first October on my blog.

     Speaking of blog events, don’t forget to head on over to She Blogged by Night and wish her a Happy Blogaversary!  This is also the final stretch of the Camp & Cult Blogathon, which ends this coming Friday.  Check it out if you haven’t already!

chaotic mess and artistic funk

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     I came across this and paused, then I looked a little harder.  I’m guessing this chaotic mess reflects my emotional state of late.  Anger, frustration, artistic funk, lack of motivation.  ‘Course, part of this is due to work starting to crank up the overtime again but I won’t bore you with the details.  I would, however, like to apologize for not making my normal blogging rounds lately.

     Although I’m identifying more with this in the present I think this was actually completed back in October or thereabouts.  This shares a sandwich background with emergence and is the flip side of paleBleak just to give you a bit of creation trivia.  Well, it’s getting late and I need to get my butt to bed.  Thanks for stopping by, you guys are the best.

feathery anger

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     This guy really stopped me today when I was trying to figure out what I was going to post next.  His eyes ended up being pretty dramatic.  That combined with the overall fuzzy/feathery look seemed like a bit of a departure from what I normally end up creating with a black marker.  In fact, this almost crossed the line from fuzzy to feathery skeletonian.  I think that was mainly due to the fact I was using my india ink brush pens.  They have much less friction with the paper than a Sharpie and I end up with softer lines.

     In other news, I found myself getting into a shouting match with a co-worker last week.  I won’t bore you with the details but I guess I should have seen something like this coming.  The source material for my new header image was created before the incident and should’ve served as a warning to me to watch my temper but I figured it was all a part of my artistic expression of late and I thought nothing of it.  What a way to start the year : P  Oh well, live and learn I guess.

blood bursting crazy

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     I’ve been feeling stressed lately.  Stressed and a little crazy.  October was an amazing month.  Not only did I have three day weekends all month, not only did I complete my Octoberween-Palooza-Ganza without a hitch but I also got inspired to paint a buncha shit.  I got spoiled during October.  Got a taste of what it’s like to have plenty of free time and energy for my artistic pursuits.  Furthermore, my brain has switched over.  I’m an artist now, not a fucking factory worker.  I’m getting really pissed off at having to work, having to put up with all those assholes.  The only thing that keeps me on a fairly even keel is the fact that suffering makes for good artistic content.  Okay, okay, enough venting.

     Not sure what this was supposed to be.  A flexing arm with a bulging bicep or some disembodied genitalia.  Either way, it’s bursting and releasing pressure, which is nice to see.  The crazy has got to get out one way or another.

thick wet lines

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     It’s hard to describe how I feel.  I just finished the thick, wet lines of this piece.  Something about this painting has put me in an intense, mostly unidentifiable mood.  This is a skull so I’m guessing fear is in there.  Probably some of the standard fear of the future associated with skulls and skeletons but that’s definitely not all.  There’s something angry and brooding about this as well.  Something that drains me and outrages me at the thought of it stealing my energy.  Still, I’m fascinated by it.  I can’t stop thinking about it.  How it makes me feel.  I find myself frowning, like my whole skull and brain area is tensing up.  My head feels warm.  No, my brain feels warm.  I feel like I need to cry but I’m not sure why.  I feel violent.  I’m sick and tired of work.  I’m bored at work.  I only have one or two days a week during a normal week when I have the time and feel rested enough to pursue my artwork.  Not sure where I’m going with this.

     Last night the wife and I enjoyed a bunch of sushi and wine.  Afterwards we had desert, mixed drinks and enjoyed a very good vampire movie.  Today we went out to eat, got caught in a downpour, drove to get ice cream and soda in said downpour and came home.  After a brief scare of our air conditioner temporarily not working due to the storm, I made myself a jumbo margarita and completed another fuzzy skeletonian for October.  When we got hungry again, we nommed the hell out of a pre-made rotisserie chicken.  After dinner and coffee I came back here to my room and completed this painting.  Now I’m sitting here, listening to the Blade Runner soundtrack trying to sort out my feelings.  Maybe I’m wrestling with some sort of moody, artistic conundrum or maybe I’m just a tad hung over and disappointed that the weekend is winding to a close.  I think the painting is dry now.  Better get it scanned and start getting ready for bed.  Have a good week.