It’s hard to describe how I feel. I just finished the thick, wet lines of this piece. Something about this painting has put me in an intense, mostly unidentifiable mood. This is a skull so I’m guessing fear is in there. Probably some of the standard fear of the future associated with skulls and skeletons but that’s definitely not all. There’s something angry and brooding about this as well. Something that drains me and outrages me at the thought of it stealing my energy. Still, I’m fascinated by it. I can’t stop thinking about it. How it makes me feel. I find myself frowning, like my whole skull and brain area is tensing up. My head feels warm. No, my brain feels warm. I feel like I need to cry but I’m not sure why. I feel violent. I’m sick and tired of work. I’m bored at work. I only have one or two days a week during a normal week when I have the time and feel rested enough to pursue my artwork. Not sure where I’m going with this.
Last night the wife and I enjoyed a bunch of sushi and wine. Afterwards we had desert, mixed drinks and enjoyed a very good vampire movie. Today we went out to eat, got caught in a downpour, drove to get ice cream and soda in said downpour and came home. After a brief scare of our air conditioner temporarily not working due to the storm, I made myself a jumbo margarita and completed another fuzzy skeletonian for October. When we got hungry again, we nommed the hell out of a pre-made rotisserie chicken. After dinner and coffee I came back here to my room and completed this painting. Now I’m sitting here, listening to the Blade Runner soundtrack trying to sort out my feelings. Maybe I’m wrestling with some sort of moody, artistic conundrum or maybe I’m just a tad hung over and disappointed that the weekend is winding to a close. I think the painting is dry now. Better get it scanned and start getting ready for bed. Have a good week.
Here’s my latest dry erase crap. I refer to this with disdain and hostility because I completed this drawing and then hung the dry erase board back on the wall were I keep it. The overtly cheery and uplifting feel of this drawing started to get to me. Usually, I draw something in my sketchbook and don’t have to look at it right away. When I come back to it later something has changed and I see it differently and it’s more palatable. With Mr. Wavy Brain here I was forced to process it immediately. That, combined with having a pretty crappy week, made for a crushing blow to my psyche yesterday. Once photographed, I didn’t feel much remorse after I erased it.
As for the style and content, this is classic nose bleed, a definite “back to basics” of this new style, as it is similar to the very first drawing from this style/series. I had just cleaned my dry erase board and it was all white and shiny and I could see a blurry reflection of myself in it as I started on this. I even had the conscious thought that this would be a self-portrait. Once finished, I realized what a state I was in and, as days passed, it became a more and more vivid revelation. In some ways it surprised me. I mean, I’ve had a noticeable amount of depression in me since I was a child. I’ve dealt with feelings of depression all my adult life so why did this particular image bother me so much? I guess it was the immediacy of it all. But you know, I’ve heard it said that if everything is under control you’re not going fast enough. As I get older I start to appreciate that opinion more and more.
Finally, to lighten my mood (and hopefully yours), I made another of my goofy animated .gifs. While processing this in Irfanview, I hit the horizontal flip and noticed what you see to the left. When flipped left and right, he seems to do a kind of bizarre, fuzzy fan dance of sorts! Suddenly, this vision of exhaustion and depression turns into more of a scene of drunken, pathetic, playfulness. Admittedly, not MUCH of an improvement but an improvement nonetheless.
Wow, you bothered to read this far? Good for you and thanks for taking an interest!
Well, we’re at it again! This weekend is gonna be all kindso fun. I gots Friday off, I gotsa birthday to celebrate and I’ll be back together with my net buds for the second installment of the Netflix Instant Bad Movie Marathon! Mi amigo, Mr. Gable has all the details here. If you didn’t join us last time, you missed out. Don’t make the same mistake twice!
I was leafing through some of my recent works, trying to decide what to post next, and this one jumped out at me. I immediately showed it to my wife (who’s been having a bit of trouble tolerating the heat lately) to show her that she’s not alone. Yeesh, the summer heat malaise is in full swing, init? She remarked that at least my hairy heat sufferer above had a flower in their hair. I prefer to think of it as kind of a “heat tumor”, if you will. A bright swirly orb of pain, much like the July sun here in Kansas.
Heh, considering these recurring red and orange backgrounds, I might be on the verge of a new series/style. Maybe I’ll call it heat stroke in keeping with the bodily ailment theme that I started with nose bleed. We’ll see.
Since both 4th of July and Halloween are my two favorite holidays, this year I decided to combine the two by carving me a watermelon and jamming some fireworks in it, like so:
Now before you say, “Oh no, mister! That was a PUMPKIN!”, watch it one more time and pay special attention to the beginning when I’m lighting it. After the fuse is lit and I move away you can see the brief flash of watermelon green as my flashlight passes over the front of the jack-o-melon. That brilliant Halloween orange is all from the fireworks, baby! That was two small fountains called “Tequila Sunrise”. I’m gonna buy 50 of them next year : >
Anyway, I hope your 4th was pretty dang awesome and thanks for stopping by, you crazy kids!
Here’s a moldy oldie from the Summer of ’89. I find this one interesting because seems to show the content that I fully embrace today just barely starting to emerge in my early drawings and doodles. It’s just under the surface and it’s poking its head up to say ‘Hi’, trying to disturb the serene scene above.
Heh. Maybe this guy’ll show up on the 4th, bringing his flamey flames with him and I can drunkenly order him to light all my fireworks for me. Have a good holiday, folks!